Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My liver just had a heart attack.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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