Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
