Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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