Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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