last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
