Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
