Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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