You really coming over, don't trick.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
