It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
