he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
