I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
