I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
