It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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