It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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