Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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