Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
