I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
