I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize