Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
