how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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