fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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