Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
