That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize
