Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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