I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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