They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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