I want to make a zoo with you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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