Barsexuality is the new black.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
