I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
