I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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