Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
