if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
