Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
