Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her vagine was all disorganized.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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