My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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