I'm gonna have a badass scar
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
