i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
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Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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