youre lurking in front of me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
