So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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