Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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