she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
