you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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