But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
