they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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