is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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