i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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