This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
