hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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