Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
