things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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