I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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