so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
