I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
