i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
