It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
When are your genitals available?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
