u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
