I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
