Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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