dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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