Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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