SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
