there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
