He is an equal opportunity slut.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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