Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
