Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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